Idaho Weeds 2 (Personal Essay)
Despite our current president’s abiding affection for Russia, Dave, an old farmer I once knew, said Russia was our biggest threat: “They seeded the jet stream with weeds. That’s how they plan to take America down. Russian Thistle and Kochia weed.”
“But what about their nukes?” I asked him. An hour later I was still listening to Dave’s ideas on Armageddon, the Apocalypse, and the Sign of the Beast (which according to him, was possibly our social security numbers.)
I think old Dave had a point. Not about Russia or Armageddon, but that weeds could be weaponized. Once we saw a man stop at a gas station in an SUV covered with fine green Kochia pollen. He must have done some off-road Baha-ing. As soon as he emerged from the driver’s side, he bent over coughing and sneezing, barely able to hold the gas nozzle in the gas tank. I thought he might have an easier time dusted with bear spray.
The strange thing is, Kochia weed is actually a Russian (Eurasian) import. A hundred years ago there was no Kochia in Idaho. Now the roads and highways are lined with it. I actually found an old seed packet of Kochia, from the 1930’s, in an antique store. I was amazed. Why would anyone want to plant the stuff? Later Wikipedia told me Kochia was an “escaped ornamental.” What an understatement.
I have to admit though, when I first came to Idaho I knew nothing of the 67 plant species classified as noxious weeds, so I mistakenly cultivated a Kochia weed in my flower bed. I remember watering it faithfully, and spading around it a little to give the roots room to breathe.
One morning I opened my front door, glanced in the flower bed, and was shocked to see the bushy Kochia plant gone. I’d become a victim of a terrorist attack. My husband, the terrorist, had apparently pulled the weed as he walked by it. He, like old Dave, was ready to fight any kind of Russian invasion.
You really are a talented writer! I enjoyed this article and learned something as well!
Thank you Lorretta. I always appreciate the feedback.